This past year has probably been one of the hardest in my life. I feel like it should have been the best year because it was my first year as a mom and I had so much joy brought to my life from LC. But sadly, even with all the joy that LC brought to me, this past year was tough. Real tough.
Part of the hardship of the past year, is that I have had 3 chemical pregnancies. So I went from never being able to get knocked up, to not being able to stay knocked up.
My first loss was in March. I wrote about it in my blog under a post titles Miscarriage. That loss was devastating. Of all the losses I have had, I took that one the hardest. May is when I had my second loss. I was surprised that I got pregnant again so quickly, but thankful for the second chance. I felt like god was giving me back the baby he had taken. But just as with my first loss, the lines just weren’t getting darker. This loss just pissed me off. I thought my OB had said it was rare for this to happen again, if it was so rare why was it happening to me?
After the second loss I had a Recurrent Pregnancy Loss Panel done to see if there was something that they could determine was causing the losses. My RPL came back normal. We tried again. Loss number three happened in August. This loss I just expected. I know that’s sad to say, but the day I got the first positive I already started thinking about when I would lose the pregnancy. This loss happened much sooner than the first two. If I would have waited till 17DPO to test like I always told myself I would do, I would never have known about this one.
After this loss we had a Karotyping test done on both Mr. P and I and both of those have also come back normal.
Chemical pregnancies to me put you in a weird spot. Some people don’t acknowledge them as losses, some people will tell you that at least you know you can get pregnant, and some people say nothing at all. To me though, the loss is very real. You find out you’re pregnant, you develop all these hopes and dreams about the family you are about to become and then in an instant it is gone. It is gone only for people to not even acknowledge what you are going through as a loss. It hurts.
One of the hardest things for me has been that there is no clear reason as of yet why I am having these chemical pregnancies. When Dr. S called to say that our karyotyping test came back normal he gave me his theory, but it is just that a theory because there is no proof. Dr. S believes that I have an ovulatory dysfunction. At the beginning of this cycle my AFC on one ovary was 13, and it was 18 on the other. Those numbers are slightly higher than the norm – which I believe he said was about 10 on each side. He also said that my AMH came back at about 3.6. This is slightly higher than most women my age. I asked him if I had PCOS and he said he didn’t believe so. Since I’m not overweight (currently), my cycles are regular, I ovulate regularly, I’m not harry, and my counts aren’t THAT high, he said it was pretty safe to say that I don’t have PCOS.
He theorizes that I am not releasing a very good egg each month. The way he explained it was all the follicles from the AFC are fighting for hormones and nutrients to become “the egg” that is released. Because I have so many, “the egg” isn’t getting all the hormones and nutrients that it needs. Dr. S did not explain this to me this way, I’m paraphrasing and probably doing a poor job at it.
Dr. S believes that if we can create a better ovulation, then I can be successful. I just hope that is true. This cycle we did the Clomid, Follistim, HCG Trigger, and now Progesterone. I hope that it works.
The problem with Chemical pregnancies is that they are supposedly so common, but all you can wonder is if you will ever have another healthy baby. There doesn’t seem to be a lot of research on them, and its hard to find people who have had multiple chemical pregnancies. You start to wonder – at least I do, what is wrong with you. You want to become pregnant again, but you are so scared that you will have another loss. I’m just praying that this cycle works and that we get our second child.
Hi there, I know this post is old, but you sound exactly like me! I've had 5 CPs in a row, and I have a super high follicle count. I just started Femara and your story gives me hope :)
ReplyDeleteHello,
ReplyDeleteI am in the same boat, 5 CPs, and very high follicle count, I get pregnant every cycle...Please could you specify the treatment? dosis etc? I can't find it in the blog, or maybe tell me your Dr name? I am so desperate, and I dont know what else to do. Thanks! rosana_al_lo@hotmail.com
ALL THANKS TO DOCTOR STEVE FOR HELPING ME WITH THE ISSUES OF MISCARRIAGE.
ReplyDeleteI had a miscarriage in 2013. We’d only been trying to get pregnant for a couple of months, and when I got that first positive pregnancy test, it felt a little bit like a whoops! Well, okay. One evening, I came home from a book reading and was bleeding. I quickly turned to all my pregnancy books, and to the internet, all of which told me that a little bleeding could be normal and fine, but the longer it went on, and the more pain I was in, what was happening became clear. The bleeding wasn’t stopping, and neither was the pain. Even though it was obvious enough what was going on, I refused to take any pain medication. Because you’re not supposed to take blood thinners when you’re pregnant. That was how I lost my first pregnancy. And in two others in the same year I had to look for solution, because our family Doctor could not help, he has given us a lot of prescription but non worked, I had to look for solution on line and saw the contact of Dr Steve I contacted him through the email and made purchase for his product which is a permanent solution to Miscarriage. Now am having two kids and I promise to tell the whole world about him if he helps me out. You can contact him for solution on drsteve833@gmail.com for a good solution to miscarriage.
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