Thursday, January 20, 2011

Mock Transfer

I had my trial transfer today, and it was not at all what I was expecting. I had read several post on an Infertility Board that I frequent about how it was painful for some women and others didn't feel much at all. Since I hate getting a pap smear done I was sure that I was going to pass out when I had my trial transfer done. Mr. P had decided not to go with me to the trial transfer and I told him it was okay. Once I pulled up in the parking lot however I was cussing him and wondering why he wasn't there. That's how afraid I was of this appointment.
When I got into Dr. T's office I was told ushered right back to the room. We stopped on the way so that I could empty my bladder which immediately let me know that they don't do full bladder transfers at my clinic. I didn't think to ask if that meant that my transfer wouldn't be ultrasound guided. Now I wish I would have asked. I don't remember him using the ultrasound today, but, I was trying hard to concentrate on the magazine in my hand.
The trial really wasn't that bad. It hurt a lot less than any of the IUI's or Pap's I've ever had. Once he was done measuring my uterus, he looked at my ovaries. The appointment really only took about 20 min and then we were done.
After Dr. T was done I went to see the IVF nurse to go over my schedule. That was when I found out that my dates were being pushed up. I will only be on the BCP for 2 weeks and I will start the lupron on Tuesday. My ER is now tentatively scheduled for the 15th. The only good thing is that is a Saturday so it's one less day I'll have to miss work.
We did find out that we got our insurance approval. Now I'm just waiting to see how much they will cover of our meds. I have to call tomorrow if I don't hear from them so I'm sure that will be a fun conversation. I'll be sure to update tomorrow.

Monday, January 17, 2011

And now we wait....

My period finally started on Thursday. Usually I get a day of spotting beforehand, but not this time. I woke up around 3 am to pee and had a lovely little surprise waiting for me when I wiped. I wasn't too upset. I expected it. Why would this month be any different? So I called the Dr.'s office when I got to work to let them know. Val went over our tentative timeline and told me what appointments to go ahead and schedule.
Tentatively this is our schedule:
January 15th: Start BCP
January 20th: Mock Transfer
January 31st: Start Lupron
February 10th: Start Stims
February 22nd: ER
February 25th-27th: ET

I think I might be missing a few things.

After she gave me the schedule, she transferred me up front to the insurance coordinator. Herein lies the problem. Mr. P didn't want to get his SA done last month. For some reason he wanted to wait till January to do it. I guess we misunderstood when he needed to have it done by and thought that he just needed it done prior to the ER. Well, we were both wrong. I found out on Thursday when I called that prior to approving our cycle, we have to have the SA results and my CD3 BW results. It takes a week to get the SA results! I was pissed. I did not want to start the BCP's if our insurance is going to deny our IVF and make us do another IUI. But, I didn't really have a choice. So, here we are waiting to see what our insurance company is going to decide.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Money Matters

It kills me when Mr. P and I argue about money. I hate it. Mostly becauase so money matters lead to the demise of so many marriages and because we have such different views on money, we NEVER get anywhere. So here's what happened today. Back story - last August my cell phone stopped working. After I had my car accident in December Mr. P and I decided that I needed to get a new phone.
Last night Mr. P and I were going over our finances. We have recently had an increase in our monthly bills that we really weren't expecting. Mr. P's grace period on his student loans ran out so his payment went up from $28 a month, to $412! I NEVER thought it would go up that much, but I guess this is one that we should have been expecting. My co-pays for physical therapy are running us $280 a month, my co-pays for my RE and my ortho dr. is running us around $150 a month. Because we hadn't really planned for these expenses I determined that we needed to cut some areas on our budget like eating out and our month "free spend" money for a while. This didn't go over so well with Mr. P since he acts like eating out is his life!!
Fast forward to tonight. I was online when I noticed that verizon is about to release the new iphone 4. So in my excitement I scream for Mr. P to come in the room. I simply asked him to guess who was getting a new phone, and he replied "i'm not going to ruin your excitement by saying anything". I already knew what he was referring to, but I asked him to explain anyway. Of course, he doesn't see how me needing a phone and spending money on that is different from spending money on eating out. I get his point, I don't need an iphone, I just need a phone. But, it's time for our upgrade so we won't be paying full price, and we both determinded that I needed a phone prior to hearing that verizon was getting the iphone.

Honestly, I don't really care about the phone. If that's how he feels and if with our upgrade the iphone is still really expensive, I won't get it. This is what pissed me off.  Every time that Mr. P talks about my spendoing, he brings up the fact that I bought a LV dog carrier 4 years ago! He goes on and on about how it was living beyond my means and tonight he used the term "reckless"! Really?? I don't understand that at all. When I bought it, I had just returned from a year long deployment to Iraq. I had $0 credit card debt. My car was paid off, and I could have paid off my student loans but wanted to keep paying on them for a longer credit history. Making the payment didn't put me behind on any of my monthly bills, I still put the same amount in my savings account that month as I always did, and I still paid my rent.

It really pisses me off that he brings it up. Especially when he says dumb shit like "think of where we could have been" when he hasn't contributed to our savings account at all in the last 4 years!! What the fuck gives him the right to say anything? I have built our savings account up from the ground and he hasn't contributed at all, yet he feels like he can talk shit about a purchase I made four years ago?? Really!!

Friday, January 7, 2011

Scared Shitless

I don't think there is another way to describe how I am feeling right now. Not only am I scared, but I am worrying myself so much thinking about the upcoming IVF cycle that I am making myself physically sick. I am just so terrified. What if this doesn't work? We are cleaning out our savings account to try to build our family and there is not guarentee that this will even work. IVF is our last chance at having a baby and I am terrified of it not working. I'm terrified of all the shot's I'll have to give myself or have Mr. P give me.
Mr. P is being so good about all of this. Part of me feels it's because all he really has to do during the IVF is make a deposit, and take a few pills. I have to have all the invasive procedures and tap dance around my work schedule and doctor appointments. I know that isn't fair to think that but I still do.
I really don't know why I'm being such a baby about this. When we agreed to do the IVF I knew what this was going to entail. I guess part of me just thought that we would get a "hail mary" BFP and that we wouldn't need the IVF. I know thats probably stupid but that's what I thought.