Monday, November 18, 2013

One of These Days

My ILs came down for the weekend. Specifically my MIL, my SIL, and my nephew. Now we have have always felt that Mr. Ps parent’s favored his sister and her kids more than us and our son, but I have never felt is as much as I did this weekend. I am so blessed that my mom is a so-so grandma to all of her grandkids and doesn’t favor any of them over others. I guess in reality this is my own fault because I had expectations of the relationship that my MIL would have with my son. I set myself up for failure.
One of these days I will learn to accept that my MIL and FIL just do not love my child as much as they love my SILs kids. As hard as this is on me to accept, I can’t imagine what it must be like for Mr. P. I just remember before we had kids I adored the way she treated JJ and CP our two nephews and I was ecstatic that LC would have a grandma who was really like a grandma. Because, well, that’s just not my mom.
Then LC came, and nothing really changed. My MIL and FIL never really made any more trips down to see us or the baby, but there were always pictures being posted on FB of her hanging out with the other grandkids. Then they would plan trips out to see us, and all of a sudden their plans would change because of something involving my SIL and her kids.
About a month ago I finally told my MIL that she could come on her own that that LC never got to see her alone because every time she came my nephews were always there. She understood where I was coming from and she in fact did come that time alone. They originally weren’t going to come because my SIL couldn’t come, and it was nice for LC to spend time with them alone. This weekend however my SIL was in tow and so was my oldest nephew.
This weekend was just my wakeup call and the reality check that I needed to finally see the inequality that goes on in my husbands family. In actuality it pissed me off more than anything. I just can’t believe not only how much more attention my MIL showed my nephew, but also my SIL. She spends so much time with them that I assumed that she would relish all the time she can spend with LC and Mr. P especially since we are moving. However my MIL acted like she never sees JJ and my SIL. She pretty much spent the whole weekend babying JJ giving into his depands and babying my SIL. The truth is that LC is an AMAZING little boy. I’m not just saying that because he’s my son, he really is a neat kid. It’s their loss.
My SIL and her husband give off the vibe that they are in such financial despair and that they are struggling to just live paycheck to paycheck. Guess what, I’m losing my job!! We will be forced to live off of just one paycheck but yet and still we aren’t acting like we need to be standing in line at the soup kitchen. It just really pisses me off. All weekend my MIL paid for everything for my SIL and her son. Mr. P even pissed me off one time when he was all offering to pay for something for her. Her and her husband both work. We are trying to buy a house, and I’m about to lose my job. Why do they think we are in any different of a position?
In about six short weeks we are moving halfway across the country. I’m pretty excited about this because I have had my last straw with seeing my son get ignored and treated like shit when he is around Mr. P’s family. They won’t come out and visit us very often and we won’t be going back there very often. We will see them maybe twice a year for the next three years. I would be more sad for LC but since they never cared to see him while we were close, I’m pretty much over that now. I’m sad for baby to be because that baby will never get to know them but that’s okay also. I have enough love to give.