Phone Consultation with Dr. T

I had a phone consultation with Dr. T yesterday. K the nurse at my RE's clinic called me on Sunday to let me know that my beta was negative. She told me that Dr. T and or V would be calling me on Monday. At about 4 pm on Monday I got sick of waiting for their call and decided that I was going to call them. I talked to V first. Basically she just told me that Dr. T had planned on calling me and she would see if he was free and could talk now.
As soon as Dr. T got on the phone, I forgot all of the questions that I had wanted to ask him. I asked him if I was doing something wrong, he said no. I asked if it was because I was fat he said no, but that losing weight wouldn't hurt me.He said there are studies regarding overweight women losing weight and ovulating, but since we are doing IVF he didn't really see it making a big difference at this point. However, losing weight could only help. I asked him if Mr. P's tobacco use was having an effect and he said no. That the sperm was such a small part of the embryo that he didn't feel that it would lead to the demise of the embryo.
What he did say was that I had bad eggs. He said that we seem to have a problem getting good eggs from me. I make a good number, but there are too  many that are not mature or are over mature, leaving us with only a few that are just right. This then only gives us a few to try to make babies out of . Dr. T also feels that the reason why we haven't been able to get pregnant on our own is because I'm not making good eggs. Dr. T would like to see me make better eggs so that we have more to choose from. For out next cycle we are going to use Ganirelix instead of Lupron but we will still use the follistim. Dr. T feels like the Lupron might be supressing me too much. I guess we will see.

I don't know if I completely agree with all of this. I wish that Mr. P and I would have talked to Dr. T together and that I wouldn't have been on my own for the conversation. I just don't believe that that we could make the embryos we made for IVF #1 if I had such bad eggs. Mr. P thinks this also. I also wonder if my body is attacking my embryos. I have heard of natural killer cells and I wonder if there is something my doctor can test for.
I think that I am going to call the clinic and schedule another appointment for Mr. P and I to go in together before we start our next cycle. That will make me feel better because we will hopefully have all of our questions answered before we start the next cycle. Honestly, I want a second opinion. I wish that we would have gotten a second opinion before we signed up with our clinics Shared Risk program. We were just so afraid that we would be denied to do Shared Risk because we had already had a failed cycle. I am just so scared that this isn't going to work. I am trying to stay positive, but it is hard after another cycle failed.