7 weeks ago today

7 Weeks ago today is when I tore my Achilles tendon. For the past seven weeks I have not slept more than 4 hours in a row, I have not carried a full glass on my own, I have not showered standing up, I have not done any physical activity, and I have not gone more than 3 days in a row without crying. I hate this. This weekend one of my friends back home got married. We had been planning on going to this wedding months before I got injured so we were not going to cancel. Unfortunately for me, that might not have been the best decision. 
First, going through the airport was hell. When we left our usually uncrowded airport was extremely crowded. Mr. P stood in line while I tried to go print off our boarding passes before joining him. Bad idea. I had my foot bumped 3 times within that five minute period. Once we finally got checked in, came security. Because I couldn't go through the scanning machine without my crutches, I had to get one of the new TSA pat-downs. I'm not a modest person, so this really didn't bother me, but I could easily see how some could be offended. They stick their hands down in your pants to feel along your waistband. What is the point of that? I told the female assist who did it that this was the most action I have gotten in a while. I would love to know what they can feel from that that they couldn't feel on the outside of my pants. Next came the jet way. Actually, on our first flight, the jet way didn't come. We were on one of those small ass plans that you have to go down the stairs of the building and then outside to get to. Try that on crutches. It sucks. I had to crutch down like 30 steps, then crutch up the inclined make-shift-ghetto ass (jet way). I was pissed. Not to mention that the plane was so small that I couldn't stretch my leg at all, or put it up at all. So, Mr. P graciously allowed me to put it across his legs. Our second flight was almost perfect, except that when we got to the airport for our layover, they would not bring us a wheelchair. Mr. P finally spotted them 20 yards away so he took it upon himself to go get it.
My parents actually picked us up from the airport. It was really nice to see them and get to spend the day with them. Unfortunately for me, I was so excited, that I over exerted myself and by the time we got to the wedding I was so tired and in so much pain, that we had to leave early.
We flew back today I am still in pain from yesterday. Lucky for me they did my "airport pat-down" while I was sitting in the wheelchair this morning because there is no way that I could have stood up that whole time.
Both flights today were horrible. I was just in so much pain the whole time I basically cried the entire way home. I told Mr. P like three times today that I wish I would have chosen to not have the surgery, and that if this ever happens again, I won't do the surgery.
 I never knew I would be in this much pain. I have read a few other Achilles tendon repair blogs and everyone talks about how mobile they are at what point, but hardly any of them talk about the pain. Well, I will tell you it hurts!! It hurts really bad. Obviously it doesn't hurt as bad as it did when the nerve block wore off, but nonetheless, it hurts! I have literally been in pain everyday for over a month. I hate it. I am sure that I am not a pleasure to be around. I don't even want to be around me right now. I can't sleep, I'm constantly in pain, I can't get comfortable, but yet I still want to be independent and have a "normal" life.
Due to all of this, I think we are going to have to put off any fertility treatments for a while. I don't know yet if I'm pissed or if I just feel defeated right now. Honestly, I am just in too much pain right now to focus on anything else. I know that my pain fluctuates, so tomorrow I could be feeling awesome, but I doubt it.