4dp5dt

So today I am 4dp5dt and I am trying to be hopeful, but I am so scared. I can say that this progesterone is killing me and that if this cycle fails, I will not look forward to taking it again.

 I don't really have any "symptoms". I have been cramping on and off, but I have really been doing that since my ER. The only difference right now between this cycle and any other cycle where I am 9DPO, is that my face has broken out like a pubescent teenager. That I am not excited about. Unfortunately, I can't even blame that on the progesterone as my face has been like this since I started stims. I just noticed yesterday that it has started to get worse.

Really, the only thing that bothers me about the progesterone is what it leaves behind. This stuff is disgusting! I would still rather do the Crino.ne instead of the injections, but it is gross!

Even though it is early, I really wanted to test today. Mr. P asked me not to, so I won't. We agreed on the day of the transfer that we would test on Wednesday, so that is what we will stick to. It is killing me though. I want so bad for this to be the cycle that I finally get pregnant. It is just so hard to continue to try when you have had nothing but failure. Really, No matter what we have done it has not been successful and it feels like this will never be real for us.