I am Just Pissed Off

I am so so pissed off right now. I am so mad and angry that this is happening to me. I truly felt that I had endured my share of losses. Although I felt as if this could happen when my betas didn't double properly, after our first ultrasound where we saw the yolk sac, and our second where we saw the heartbeat I thought everything was going to be okay. I was fooled into thinking that I would be a mom to another baby. I believed that LC would be a big brother. I stupidly imagined ways to announce our pregnancy to others.
But none of that is going to happen. I will not be having another baby in May. I will not be taking a cute photo in November when we do our family photo with our feet and an extra pair of shoes. LC will not be becoming a big brother, and I am heartbroken. I know that I am lucky to have LC in my life, and I am truly grateful, but I would like to have another child and I feel like that is just too much to ask God for. Maybe I have run out of prayer requests.
I have always felt that I had an egg quality issue and I feel that way even more so now. We have had three chemical pregnancies which are most likely caused by a chromosomal issue and now an enlarged yolk sac which is also indicative of a chromosomal issue. We have had karotype testing done on both of us, and it both of our results came back normal. I know this does not 100% lead to an egg issue, but at this point I'm convinced of it.
I am really just so hurt right now. I have no idea where to go from here, but I know that I'm not finished trying to have a second child. I honestly feel like our family is not yet complete and that a second child would make our family feel complete. But I am also coming to the realization that we may not have another child. As painful as that is, I am finally starting to see that could be our reality and it hurts so bad to even think that.
Realizing that makes me look back at the last year and a half with LC and wish that I had soaked it in more. Although, honestly, in the past year and a half with him I have only left him once so it's not like I've neglected him or spending time with him, but I wish I would have stopped to enjoy it more, instead of focusing on what I was or wasn't doing right as a mom. He's a perfectly happy, normal, loved little boy, and he is just the highlight of my life. I guess I just wanted to share the love we have for him with another child and I really pray that we get to one day.
So, where do we go from here....
Right now it is just to early to tell. Unfortunately we are up against a timeline because we are moving in January. We will likely try to move on as quickly as possible with an FET of some of the 5 frozen embryos that we have, but we won't know for a while when that will be. I am guessing December. Lovely, now I will likely get to cycle around the holidays. Yay!