23... another Chemical Pregnancy

My beta from Friday came back at 23. It looks like it is another CP. This month I tested at 11 DPO which is the earliest I have ever tested in my life. My rule has always been that I wait until I am 3 days late (17dpo) to test. However, just like in March, I knew I was pregnant. The strangest thing about both of my CP cycles has been that I have started to have pregnancy symptoms super early with both of them. In fact that is what initially scared me this cycle. I know I shouldn’t compare everything to my pregnancy with LC, but that is my only successful pregnancy, so I do. With him, I didn’t feel anything.  I wasn’t tired, coffee tasted great, I didn’t have heartburn; I had no symptoms what-so-ever. The only reason I tested was because I was three days late.
With both of my CPs, I have had heartburn, nausea, exhaustion, increased bathroom trips, extreme bloating, etc. well before AF was due. I don’t get it! If my HCG is so much lower, why do I have so many symptoms and why are they so much sooner? I didn’t start feeling this way until I was at least 7wks pregnant with LC. I really just don’t get it.

So, we are stuck as to where to go from here. When I had my CP in March, my OB said that the odds of this happening again were rare. So, when I got my positive this month, I just went to a OB near my office to have my beta drawn. I just figured that I would have my betas drawn, put my mind at ease and go back to my OB for my first “real” appointment around 7-8wks. I did this because I really didn’t think I was going to have another CP and because we moved and my regular OB is now an hour away. Basically I was being lazy.

Well when the nurse called with my beta yesterday she told me that the doctor “suggested” that I do another beta, but that because it went up, I didn’t have to. I could just come in at my 7wk appointment. HELLO, the number didn’t double or even come close to it. In fact, the doubling time was 135 hours. I’m not sure why she would just try to let me think that was normal. Immediately after talking to that nurse, I called my regular OBs office. I had my records faxed over there and I’m now waiting for them to call me back. The hubs and I really like and trust her and we are just going to follow her recommendations for us moving forward.  

We will have to take time off this summer because my husband is having back surgery in June and during his recovery I’m sure that doing the deed will be both off limits and the last thing on our minds. I am going to ask my regular OB (Dr. D) if I can have RPL testing done although this is only (only – I really don’t like using that word there) our second loss. I am afraid that she is going to refer us back to a RE. I don’t know why, but I am reluctant to do any treatments because the only times I have EVER gotten pregnant were on natural, unmediated cycles, without the assistance on a RE. However we might not have a choice. Both the hubs and I trust and respect her and have agreed that we will do whatever she suggests.

Maybe in a round-a-bout way, this forced break comes at a good time. Hopefully I can get any necessary testing done now and out of the way so that I have a plan in place when we are ready to TTC again after the hubs heals. My two fears are that my body is attacking the embryo or that I have crappy eggs. Currently we have 5 frozen embies from our first IVF cycle and we are willing to use them, but I want to make sure that my body isn’t going to attack them first. They were frozen when I was 30 so I am going to assume that they are better quality than any embryo my almost 33 year old eggs would make now, but who knows. Uggghhh! I am just so frustrated that I’m here. IF has taken all the joy out of getting pregnant, and now this has taken all the joy and excitement out of finding out I’m going to be expecting and replaced it with fear. I hate that. I feel defeated before the battle even begins.

Also, a little note here about pregnancy test…. I will NEVER look at one again. When we start trying again I am going to have the hubs look at the test and tell me if it is positive or negative. Over the last two cycles I have spent well over $100 on pregnancy tests. Oh, and I don’t believe that digital test aren’t as sensitive. I got a positive on a digital at 12dpo and my beta for that day was 18. I think they are pretty sensitive.