18

So my beta came back at 18 from Wednesday which was 12 DPO. I haven’t gotten it back yet from Friday, and I’m starting to get a little pissed about that. Like a dumbass I have continued to take pregnancy test like they are going out of style. Unfortunately for me, they aren’t getting any darker.  I know that people say that the darkness of the line means nothing, but I beg to differ. Today the line was visible, not a squinter, but it didn’t come up right away, and it is way lighter than the control line. I just keep thinking about how dark the line was with LC. Like when I took that test, it popped up so fast and so dark I thought the test was broken; like I had somehow peed on a stick wrong. This time the test popped up the fastest on 11dpo in the afternoon.  I am so irritated. I feel like I know how this is going to end and it’s not how I want it to.  I am also irritated at the doctor’s office for taking so long to get me my results back. I went to a new OB to have my betas drawn because it was close to work. While I LOVE my old OB her office is so far away now that we moved. Unfortunately, the lack of response that I have gotten from this office solidifies that I will remain with my old OB regardless of the drive. I am just so angry with my body right now and I don’t know what to do, or where to go next.