Enlarged Yolk Sac

Throughout this whole pregnancy I have been very optimistic, but I have thought deep in the back of my head that I was going to have a missed miscarriage. Not because I want to have one, but because everything from the get go that I googled had outcomes that led to that. Almost all the cases that saw on the internet with slower doubling beta times ended in a MMC. They always had one or two ultrasounds where they saw a heartbeat, but then at a follow-up U/S there wasn't one. I prayed that this wouldn't be the case for me too, but it looks like that may be the path I am headed for and I am so scared and heartbroken.

When I went to the bathroom this morning and wiped there was bright red blood on the toilet paper. I thought I would wait it out and decided if I saw it again I would call the RE. However, I decided to call anyway because I would rather be safe than sorry. They asked me to go ahead and come in, so I did. When I got there Dr. S did an U/S and let me know that everything looked fine and that the reason for the bleed was likely due to have intercourse yesterday morning.

Here is where the concern comes in. Every time I have an ultrasound Dr. S measures the CRL of the embryo, the FHR, and the YS size. When he gets to the YS he says that the YS should measure less than 8 mm. Well Monday during my routine U/S at 6w4d my YS was measuring 4mm. Today at 7w0d it was measuring 6.33 mm. Unfortunately everything I have read online points to this leading to a miscarriage. First the sac is to large. It should not grow larger than 6mm. Second, the sac has grown too much in 3 days. The embryo is not getting nutrients from the YS if it is growing at that rate. I am heartbroken.

I am just so upset. I just don't understand why God would let me get this far to just have it all end. I am so BLESSED to have LC but I guess I am just not supposed to have any more children. Our last chance seems to be with the frozen embryos that we have but with all that is going on with our job and the move I don't know if now is really the right time to implant them. But I'm not getting any younger and evidently I have really bad eggs.

I have to go back for another U/S on Monday and possibly Friday. This is just bullshit. I am not a bad person why do bad things just keep happening to me? I love my son so much, and I just really wanted to be able to give him a sibling and now I don't know if that will ever happen. I am so hurt right now. I honestly thought I had endured enough.